Jan. 23, 2015

I Got the IBD Jokes!

If you don’t already know, I have Ulcerative Colitis and it can really put a damper on your spirits. I spend most of my time in the bathroom (more than 5 hours a day), and sometimes I just can’t take it. There are days, and then there are days…but in the tragedies of life, you must find the humor.  At times, I think of what my grandpop would do…he’d joke about the situation. He’d make me laugh through the pain and the tears, and he would bust my metaphorical balls about it.

So without further ado, I have created (what my family likes to call) some “Bob” jokes for all the IBD (Inflammatory Bowel Disease) suffers out there to enjoy and laugh about!

 

IBD Jokes:

 

Guy goes to the doctors, and the doctor asks him how he’s doing.

The guy says, “Not well, doc.”

Dr: “How many times are you going to the bathroom?”

Guy: “I don’t know…a shit load!”

 

*Da-dum tiss*

 

Guy and a woman are in an elevator, and the guy turns to the woman and says, “Hey, I was reading this article today that said that 25% of the population has an IBD, and that 75% of the 25% are women. Don’t you think that the disease is sexist?”

Woman: “Yeah, it’s a bitch!”

 

*Da-dum tiss*

 

How many IBDers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

The answer is unknown…they’re all stuck in the Goddamned bathroom!

 

*Da-dum tiss*

 

Batman’s sidekick Robin with an IBD…”HOLY SHIT,BATMAN!”

 

*Da-dum tiss*

 

If I had a nickel for every time someone told me that I was faking it, I’d be rolling in toilet paper!

 

*Da-dum tiss*

 

“How are you losing so much weight?”

“It’s called IBD!”

“Really? Where can I get some?”

 

*groans*

 

Somebody stop me!

No really, I can’t stop going to the bathroom. HELP!

 

*Da-dum tiss*

 

Those are all the jokes I have for today. This was not to offend anyone…this was just me being me. And remember that just because you cannot see the disability on the outside, doesn’t mean it isn’t there.

Thanks, and have a wonderful and funny day.

 

Signed,

Laura Del (a.k.a. The Fiction Writer)