May. 28, 2016

Entertainment Weekly Thinks They Have the Jokes... They Don't!

Every week I look forward to getting my Entertainment Weekly. First, it’s one of the magazines that has not fallen in quality, second, I usually love the covers, and third/finally, I like that they have an actual book section in the format. However, when I opened it up to the back, like I always do when I get it, I saw the weekly bull’s-eye, and I noticed the picture depicted on this post. It says, “Beyoncé joke of the week No. 1: Minnesota declares May 23 ‘Beyoncé Day.’ Take that, World Crohn’s and Colitis Day.”

After I read that, I sat there, mouth agape, staring at the page for about five minutes. I was a little peeved by it. I mean, I’m not one to get all butt hurt about something, and I’m not one of those people who are offended by the way people breathe. But that joke… that joke wasn’t even remotely funny.

You know that old saying, “It was so funny that I forgot to laugh”? Yeah, well, that was me.

I mean, I’m a major sufferer of Crohn’s disease, and I can tell you, it’s a scream!

Waking up in the middle of the night to run to the bathroom, the pain, the surprise messes that you sometimes find in your pants when you get up in the morning, the wonderful headaches from the meds, and the constant weight gain and loss. Let me tell you, it’s an absolute riot!

It’s not only the fact that the joke wasn’t funny… at all… but it’s about the fact that, my disease (Crohn’s disease) is always taken as a joke to other people to begin with. They look at me and call it a “poop disease” to my face, and they tell me that I’m “not sick”, even when that morning I’ve thrown up twice. This crude, tasteless, and unfunny joke is giving all of these jerks credence in what they say. It’s basically saying that “yes, please make fun of the people with the ‘poop disease’. It’s in their heads anyway.” It’s also saying that we should be publicly humiliated because we have something that no one, not even Entertainment Weekly, seems to understand.

What’s next? Making fun of childhood cancer? Or people with other worse chronic diseases? Where does it end?

It’s instances like these that I wish I had a bigger voice in the matter… that any of us had a bigger voice in the matter. Then maybe we wouldn’t get such horrible jokes. We’d get the good jokes like, “How many Crohnies does it take to put in a light bulb? The answer is unknown, because they’re always in the bathroom.” Or, “Batman’s sidekick Robin with IBD… ‘HOLY SHIT,BATMAN!’” And finally, “If I had a nickel for every time someone told me that I was faking it, I’d be rolling in toilet paper!”

So next time you try to make fun of a chronic disease, such as Crohn’s and IBD, Entertainment Weekly, perhaps you should consult a person with the actual illness. Because, let’s face it, we got a million of them.

Or… you know… you could just think twice about pissing ill people off and calling it a “joke”.

And to Beyoncé, love the outfit, but it’s not practical if you have to take a… well, you get the idea.