This dream is just too weird and too good not to share...
So last night I had this dream that I was a detective working on these murder cases where the victims were killed by having their bodies skinned and their faces peeled off… I know, GROSS, but that’s what it was about. Anyway, I find this rich guy in his house, in order to find out later that he has no family, and because of that he has left the person who finds him dead, his money. But there is one stipulation… that person… if it’s a she… has to be… well… sexually inexperienced. So the lawyer (Robert Downy Jr. OF COURSE), who is attached to the case sends me to the doctors to have it confirmed. Only he sends me to a doctor for cows (Oh, Robert!).
Meanwhile, we find another two bodies with the same MO… but this time it’s two girls and they’re roped together on a bed, with their faces on the sheet beside them. While I’m at the crime scene, I have a suspicion that either one of the head detectives (Joe Manganiello), or the lawyer connected to the case… well… one of them is the murderer.
So, I go home… exhausted from a long days work, and I run into my land lord (Alan Cumming). He’s chatting me up, telling me how beautiful I am… yadda, yadda, yadda… But when I get into my beautiful little apartment, and turn on the stove, I start to smell gas. I run out of the apartment as fast as I can, and it winds up exploding. Here, someone had crossed to tubing and had made a bomb out of the small oven. Thankfully, no one was hurt, and all of the tenants… thanks to my screams… left the apartment building.
After the fire department comes and investigates, I’m allowed to go into my apartment, and survey the damage. Remarkably, nothing is really crispy crittered, and with just “A little work,” Alan says, “It’ll be right as rain.” I start to cry, and he holds me. Then he pushing my shoulders back and asks me how I “feel” about him. I say that I love him, and with that, he asks me to marry him. I’m taken aback by this… because I’ve never thought that way about him, and I tell him that I have to, “Think about it.”
Finally, I can take a shower, which is oddly in the middle of the room… but when I’m about to hop in, there’s a knock on the door. It’s my best friend (ASkars) come to see if I’m all right. I tell him that it was no big deal, when he asks me where the breeze in the room is coming from. “You didn’t leave your window open, did you?” he screams at me, and when I go to look, someone had cracked the widow open with a piece of wood. That’s when everything happens at once…
Someone knocks on the door, and I walk over to it, grabbing my shotgun on the way. I cock the gun, and the head detective busts the door down, and starts to open fire on my friend and me. He gets two shots off in my direction, but I get him through the heart, and as he’s smiles, he looks down at his chest, and dies.
Alex runs up to me, and asks if I’m okay… “I’m shot in the shoulder… I’m not…” I faint, and wake up in the hospital… Alex is next to me, smiling… and as I close my eyes again, I wake up in my house, look at the clock and see it’s almost 2:30 in the afternoon.
NO WONDER I SLEPT SO LONG!
Hope you enjoyed it, because I think I've lost it... -Laughs-
The Fiction Writer